Chad's gone .....

Oh my gosh -- this is HARD !!! Whoever says, "We just dropped them off and it was great...." they are LYING! It is so hard to imagine going two years with this pit in my stomach. Even Kenna misses him -- and they hate each other, right????

Brian, Ken, and Chad flew out to Salt Lake yesterday morning at 7:30. There were several of his friends there to say goodbye. Everyone tried to keep the mood light, but it was difficult to keep smiling. Ok, so I didn't. What a big baby I've turned out to be. Haji serenaded us with his rendition of "His bags are packed -- he's ready to go...." Just made me cry harder.

I kept thinking all day, "What time is it -- where is he?" And then at 12:00 our time (1:00 Utah time) I knew he was getting close to the curb ..... and the phone rang. Kenneth. It was done. Oh man.

So, now I'm left wondering every minute what he's doing. I recognize how silly that is. I haven't done that in a VERY long time. Chad is so independent. I keep thinking to myself, "Just imagine he's in San Diego for a couple of weeks, or Oklahoma again." That would get me through this first couple of weeks right?????

I did come to a realization though. The night before Chad left, I couldn't sleep (of course) and I just kept thinking, "I just want this 2 years to be over." Then I had an overwhelming feeling . . . and I came to an understand of a more importnt thing. I absolutely COULD NOT want this time to pass speedily by me. I COULD NOT wish this time away. A time that I have with Mc Kenna. When Chad gets home, Kenna will be almost 18. If I wish this time away -- I will be wasting the time I have with her.